When we were younger, I bet we all thought that dating and relationships would be the easiest thing. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage, right? Sorry to break it to you but wrong! If anything, dating nowadays is more complicated than ever especially for those in their 20s . Nevertheless, these are the best years to make mistakes. Nobody should have any regrets making them whatsoever, because every mistake can be a learning experience. With fewer responsibilities  and probably less baggage than most people, adults in their 20s are also in a unique position to more easily start over. So friends: without further a do, here are some common relationship mistakes that we’ve all probably made at some point in time;

Offloading Relationship Drama On Social Media!

Unfortunately, social media has evolved to become a part of our daily lives — which sadly for some includes sharing a bit too much information about our relationships. Yes! You know exactly what I’m talking about. The annoying couples on social media who tell us everything about everything. Well I admit, some of it is entertaining while some is just cringeworthy. Yes! The drama! All those cryptic posts people put up on either Facebook, Instagram or even WhatsApp statuses, thinking that the rest of us, ordinary folks couldn’t possibly decipher what they mean. Newsflash! We get it! Worse is when it actually gets confrontational in the sense that there is almost a duel of some sort between both parties.

Settling For Less!

Well to be fair, this is to be expected for most young adults and this is simply because they barely know themselves in the first place. That’s where self awareness comes in which is simply about focusing your awareness on yourself. It’s your ability to notice your feelings, your physical sensations, your reactions, your habits, your behaviors, and your thoughts. Note down the things you consider most important from your significant other. Whether it’s a man who is reliable and financially stable or a woman who is respectful and family oriented. Don’t back down. Trust me! There someone out there who would like to love you exactly the way you’d want.

Ditching Your Friends For Your New Guy

I don’t know if men do this but women are a sucker for this. They completely go MIA  especially when the relationship is just beginning. They don’t answer the phone anymore. They miss out on birthdays amongst many other important events. Don’t be that person. You had a life way before your new boyfriend and frankly friendships are hard work especially as you grow older. The worst thing is when you have to crawl back to the same friends you ditched when your new found relationship fails. All in all, it can be a slippery slope balancing between your friends and your new bae but it is definitely worth the struggle.

Having Rebound Relationships

I cant stress this enough but rebound relationships are a bad idea! They don’t end well. Not only are you lying to yourself but youre also lying to other people. Sure they may boost your confidence and distract from your heart break but one thing is for sure, the unresolved trauma remains.

Have you ever dated those people who just cant stop going on and on about their exes and make you feel like you’re constantly being measured against some invisible standards. You’re probably in a rebound relationship and your partner had probably not dealt with his trauma fully yet. I get it. Heart break can be painful and sometimes you just need somebody there to help you out. We all cant be that self sufficient and retreat to the comfort of our solitude and recover  purely from self love. Mingle, yes but be sure to be honest about your situation and most importantly, do not commit to promises you cant keep.

Drunk Texting & Drunk Dialling

You know how they say don’t drink and drive; the same goes for drunk texting or drunk dialing. It’s a bad idea. Trust me, the hangover you will have the next morning will be nothing compared to the shame you will feel when you remember the already sent, too-late-to-undo drunken text messages or calls. We do a lot of things while under the influence of alcohol that we typically wouldn’t do sober. This is because drinking hinders our ability to make clear decisions. I admit that sometimes it can work for for your favor but nine times out of ten, you’re just going to make a fool of yourself. Three things;-The first is that you’ll appear desperate and desperation is not cute. Secondly you’re either going to say something that will lead you into a relationship that you really have no business being in or say something that will truly mess the relationships you consider worth it. 

Not Letting Go

If life ran like a fairytale, the person we fall in love with would not be the person who broke us. Sadly, we humans tend to be a tad more human than that. It could be a first love or just some special one, different from the rest. The feeling is pretty much the same. There’s just something about them that makes people obsess about making them last, regardless of whether if it kills them in the process. In our 20s,is when we’re the most vulnerable, clingy and dumb honestly, for a lack of a better word. We wouldn’t know what a toxic relationship is even if it hit us flat in the  face. That’s why you find situations where a lot of young people stay in relationships that feel like 20 year marriages full of baggage and strife. They waste their fountain of youth either trying to change who they are, to please their partners or they  sit and wait for their partners to change. They are both losing ends if you ask me. Let this sink in! Its okay to start over and let someone else love you! Let go