Women, can’t live with them, can’t live without them! They are our girlfriends, our wives and our partners! Not every one of them is the same. They come in all sorts of shapes, sizes, and personalities. They all start out pretty normal when you first get to know them. Some are sweet, some funny and others just end up being the worst decisions you ever made. So have you ever wondered what type of girls you end up liking and attracting? Are they right for you? Here are a few that you should watch out for.
The Holy Joe
AKA little miss perfect! She sweeps the streets with her long skirts and struts her modest doll shoes to every event .You’d rarely find her sipping an ounce of alcohol, let alone find her at the club. She is full of lectures, always making you regret why you chose her to be your listening ear for your secret indiscretions. She is overly judgmental and calls you out whenever you miss a step.
The Broke One
She doesn’t give much or at all, to say the truth. Spending her own money on anything is usually a no no in her books. She can’t pay for anything herself to save her life. She is always the damsel in distress. She is always broke. She needs you to send her money all the time for all kinds of needs including cab fare, salon money irrespective of the fact that she could be having a decent job which could be paying well. Her favorite words include nitumie, nibuyie and nipeleke.
Nevertheless, the best thing about broke girls is that they are the life of the party. In addition, most of them are very attractive and they use this to their advantage.
The Insecure one
With this particular one, you’re bound to lose your mind a few times. She is never satisfied. It always seems that it doesn’t matter what you do and how perfect you’d like to be for her. There’s always going to be something about you that will make her feel low. She always suspects you’re cheating and will make you do crazy things to prove you’re not doing just that. She checks your phone every other time or frowns at your mention of any other female in a conversation. She wants you to constantly post pictures of her on your social media handles to ward off female scavengers and woe unto you if you don’t comment or like her own social media posts of you together.
The Slay Queen
When I think of this term, my mind wanders to my undergraduate professor’s comments-Dr. Bitange Ndemo, “This term was originally meant to praise a woman. A slay queen was meant to be a woman who works hard, looks good and persists in achieving her dreams. But that’s not what it does, does it?” In this era of social media, the name has been demonized and for good reasons too. The Kenyan slay queen lives a life that is beyond her means. She is so obsessed with vain possessions that she will do anything to acquire them including giving up the sentimental gifts of life such as love. Her Instagram feed is littered with elaborate images of her lavish life and routines. “Air tickets, meals, hotel rooms, the beach, jewellery you name it”. However, she always remembers to conveniently leave out photos of the love sick fella paying for all those luxuries. The Kenyan slay queen is beautiful no doubt. From her hair-weave extensions that could buy a whole car to her skin, bathed with the latest skin craze products. Not forgetting her form as a result of the gym she consistently goes to maintain her perfectly sculpted body. Gentlemen! You need to keep up with this one because she is not lowering her standards anytime soon.
The Psycho
She is crazy! There is no better way to put it. But you love her, so what can you do? (Inserts Stuck with you hit song by Ariana Grande feat Justin Bieber). Throughout the course of your relationship, you consistently question your sanity, wondering how on earth you got yourself in this relationship in the first place. This girlfriend is so many things in one. She is dramatic, paranoid, obsessive and a compulsive liar. For the fellas whose expensive phones have been crushed due to pointless false suspicions, we feel you! This lady is violent. She counts on the fact that you won’t hit her back since you’re a gentleman and she uses that side of yours to her advantage. Some of these ladies even get suicidal, threatening to always slice up your wrists whenever you throw in the slightest connotation suggesting a break up. Falling in love is wonderful but sometimes you just have to determine whether it may just be to toxic to stomach.
The Busy One
This girlfriend particularly thrives on a full schedule. She is out there chasing her career, building her business, and getting her paper. If she is not doing that, she is at the gym or at school. This girl is on a roll. But how busy is too busy? As you begin a relationship, you start to realize that everyone has a different idea about how much time spent together is the right amount of time. Perhaps she values her space and doesn’t see the need of seeing you every other day in a week. She may not consider it important texting or calling you almost every hour of the day. Perhaps she is just not a clingy person or maybe she is just not that into you! Sorry
The Fragile One
With her, you rarely confront her on anything, lest she has a mental breakdown. She has a fragile heart and lacks resilience to most of life’s misgivings. She was raised with a silver spoon, this one. And it makes you wonder every time, how she is going to survive the serious character development that awaits her in life. In addition, she doesn’t do much of chores either. She doesn’t know how to. Her hands are as soft as a baby’s. They’ve never been exposed to manual labor.
The Mother Hen
Yes yes, I agree that women have an inherent nurturing instinct but sometimes, some women tend to just take it a bit too far, especially with their partners. She calls you baby names in public and is always cleaning after you; wiping your mouth after a meal and asking you if you’ve had enough to eat. The worst ones are the ones that forcefully feed you with a spoon and all. I mean, c’mon!
The Drama Queen
It is not always easy to recognize a drama queen in the beginning but give it a couple of weeks and you will soon start seeing the claws coming out. She loves to be the center of attention. She will do and say anything to shift the spotlight on herself. She is emotional; easily angered and pleased at the same time. And this both is her strength and weakness. You will never feel bored, because your house will always be a replica of some dramatic scene in a nigerian oga movie minus the loud sound effects of course .To deal with this one, you must either have inexhaustible energy to feed her or be in a mental state that is too tough for her to breakthrough.
The Food Lover
Ever heard of the saying-a hungry woman is an angry woman? This is that type of girlfriend. She loves good food and the lack of thereof breeds contempt. She loves to eat and she is not afraid to show it. If she is coming over, the one thing that you can’t miss in your house is food. If she is mad at you over something and you’re looking for something to get her as a white flag, you already have your answer.
You might spend money with this one, but it’s worth it. Buffet dates are a dream for her. There’s nothing worse than taking a girl to a buffet that you’ve splurged on and she ends up ordering a baby-sized meal, and then claiming she’s full. Ps… Remember that whenever you order for yourself a meal; just ensure it’s enough for two because she is definitely going to dip her fingers in yours despite having hers already.
